Having Trouble Getting What You Want and Need?

Did you ever go to a restaurant and order a meal only to be surprised when the server brought you something that wasn’t what you thought you ordered? It takes a very special skill to ask for what you want. It requires a detailed description of the (want) picture in our head and then communicating that information to another person. Sometimes we just don’t give enough information of that picture and we end up getting something totally different from what we envisioned.
So, how do we get what we want? Well, let’s work our way through it…
Close your eyes and picture your favorite/best/greatest vacation. For just a moment, go to the best moment of that time.

Where are you?

After a couple of moments pay attention to your location. Can you describe your surroundings?

What about this moment is perfect? Can you describe anything that makes this the perfect moment?

Exactly where are you in this location?

What are you doing (exactly)?

Describe anything significant.

How is your body positioned? (Laying down, sitting, etc.)

Describe your body in this location. What sensations do you feel in your body (physiology)?

Breathe deeply in and let the breath out slowly. Repeat.

What time of day/night is it and how does the weather feel (Sun, moon, wind, heat) against your skin?

Are there any significant smells that you recognize?

What are you wearing (fabric, color)?

How do the clothes feel against your body(soft, rough)?

Scan your body from head to toe very slowly and describe any sensations that you notice.

Breathe deeply in and let the breath out slowly. Repeat.

Take a moment and be aware of all your senses; sight, touch, hearing, taste, and smell.

For a moment, just be there and breathe. Relax into the moment.  Be in the moment.

Breathe deeply in and let the breath out slowly. Repeat.

Just be there for a moment, enjoying the perfect place and time.

Breathe deeply in and let the breath out slowly. Repeat.

What are you thinking in this moment?

It takes practice to describe the pictures of what we want that are in our mind. It also takes lots of questions and time to describe what it is we want to someone else. But, by doing so we end up getting what we want. We are always trying to satisfy those pictures in our minds of what we believe is what we want, right or wrong.

I can help you define those wants into healthy, productive pictures and teach you ways to obtain them.
Practice asking someone about a want they have. Use as many questions as possible to get a clear picture of their want and then relay it back to the person to see if you got the picture right.

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My name is Janet and I am a licensed professional counselor in the state of Kentucky and the state of Georgia.

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